Sunday, September 30, 2012

Day 43 of 100 days of gratitude

Mom is recovering. Out of ICU today and in a regular room with the hopes of coming home tomorrow. She is still having difficult breathing but that should get better as the pneumonia clears up. The Staff all love her and are all very positive about her recovery. Yay! I am grateful to all of my friends for sending blessings to heal her and the fabulous doctors and staff who have taken such good care of her.

I am grateful to have an ex husband who cares so much that he calls to check on both of us... Also grateful to have a boyfriend who feels the same. 

Friday, September 28, 2012

Day 42 of 100 days of gratitude

So mom is doing so much better. I am grateful for all who put out the efforts to heal her. She should be home within a few days. Yay!

Day 41 of 100 days of gratitude

Today this will be short and sweet... well, maybe not so sweet. Today I am thankful for the amazing Doctors at Capital Medical Center in Olympia. After taking my mom in this morning they were on the ball, figured out what the problem was, and are treating it now so that she should be better soon. What a long day this one and it's only midnight... at 10:00 I looked at my phone and was surprised to see it was not 2am. Again, what a day. ugh. Time to sleep. I love you mom. Can't wait until you are back home. 

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Day 40 of 100 days of gratitude

As difficult as things have been.. the depression that I am fighting, the financial.. or lack the of... the inability to find work that i can live on... kids a long long ways away... and everything else i can't mention here... I am grateful that I am me and not someone else. As I watch the lives of the people around me i am grateful that I am me and that I have the confidence and the strength to change my situation, to not give up, and to keep moving forward no matter what gets thrown at me... that is after a good cry, some really good chocolate, and a little bit of a tissy fit... hee hee.


Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Day 39 of 100 days of gratitude

Hmm. Lots of thinking this weekend. Decisions to be made. Can't keep living like this. We are moving north, back up to the Tacoma area... The school district there pay more, they are larger, and are actually hiring teachers again. Will sub, get to know the staff and principal's at the schools where i decide i want to teach, and work to get hired there. Also, will be making enough money to get my math endorsement so that I can teach middle and high school math. yay! Can go back to work for Sylvan in the afternoons after school is out. will all be good. Back up closer to my friends. Closer to Darren by an hour... Do not find anything bad about the move other then the actually move. Headed out. Hope to put a deposit on an apartment next week and move mid month to the end of Oct. As soon as we can. Hopefully sooner then later. yay!

I am grateful to find the time to think and make the big decisions and calm myself this past weekend. 

Monday, September 24, 2012

Day 38 of 100 days of gratitude

Today I am thankful for the strength to go to the court house and finally get my divorce filed today. I didn't even tell the judge who approved the fee waiver off today. Now if I can get my husband to chip in for half... 

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Day 37 of 100 days of gratitude

Ok. So today I am grateful for friends who understand my idiosyncrasies and love me anyway, lol... and I am thankful that I think I know what I need to do next. Moving north to Tacoma so I can sub there. Get my foot in the door, find a school, are a series of schools that I love and try to get jobs there... that is the goal. Get out of here, back to the city where there are numerous things to do and places to be, and work and be happy. That is the goal now.




Day 36 of 100 days of gratitude

I know that it's tomorrow but since I went out and haven't been to bed yet, this post is for today. I am grateful for good friends who know it's time to get me out of my own head. A good friend took me to lunch today and then took me dancing. Had so much fun. We shut the place down... Thank you Jody so much for showing me such a great time and getting me out of the house. We need to do this again... Night all... :-) So time to sleep.

animated dancing cat gif Pictures, Images and Photos

Friday, September 21, 2012

Once Upon A Time


Once Upon A Time
It's back a week from Sunday. Magic is coming!!!


Day 35 of 100 days of gratitude

Today I am grateful that I have a friend like FireFaerie... Someone who believes in me no matter what and always knows just what to say even when I am in such self doubt that I can't see past my own nose. Love you honey!!! 


Hon, which one is you and which one is me? 

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Day 34 of 100 days of gratitude

Ok. Looking for things to be grateful for today. I am finding it difficult to find them... The principal had the decency to call me and tell me they went with someone else. He did say, however, that if it didn't work out, I had the job. I am still waiting to hear about the job at Bethel Middle School... We went and looked at an apartment in Tacoma today. Amazing apartment. indoor pool. two bedroom, two bathroom.. etc...  $800 per month... all good now we need to find the money to move... next week. if we move now, October is free...so off we go! we'll figure it out and next weekend we will be out of Lewis County... yay!!! 

Wednesday, September 19, 2012



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Long day

Ok, so yesterday i totally owned the interview for the elementary Sped. teacher. I so think I got this one and am hoping, expecting a call back on it today. I so hope. This waiting is killing me!

We also went around looking at houses yesterday. Some really great ones though there is one we kinda settled on. A large 3br/2ba duplex out in the East end of Spanaway. Large lot, fenced yard... great place with a double car garage... Would be the perfect place until we get our house built. Now I just need a payday. 

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Day 33 of 100 days of gratitude

Today I am grateful for a full amount of Unemployment though I am not sure why I got it.
I am grateful for an understanding mother.
I am grateful for healthy wonderful kids.
I am grateful for friends who are amazing.
I am grateful for a car that takes me any where and every where. 

Monday, September 17, 2012


do you ever?

Do you ever feel that you are walking through a crown of people completely alone? Like you speak but no one hears? You see people look at you but they seem to stare right through you? As I walk through my life, the things that are happening to me right now in this moment, in this current time, I feel like I am screaming but no one is there to listen. I talk to people but feel like I speak to no one. I hear people talking but do not seem to be able to respond with any kind of thought or clarity. I try to move forward but feel that I am running in place. On ice taking steps but staying right where I am, or even moving slowly backwards. Backwards to the edge of a high cliff. Can anyone tell me what this means?

I had an interview Friday for what could be an amazing job. Everyone says I got it. This is the one. I even got up the guts to ask my pendulum and it has said three nights in a row that I got the job and that it will start this week. It even says that I am going to get a September paycheck which means we will be able to move ASAP which would be amazing. They said that they hoped to make an offer tomorrow so I am hoping to hear from them tomorrow. I have managed to stay positive. Keep looking forward, what will we do once I have this job. Rent a house. Moving back up north where we were so much happier. Why tonight as I get ready to go to bed do I find myself in tears. Tears that I can't explain. I can explain but it brings the negative to the surface and I know that if I want this job, that needs to go away. I just smudged myself with safe and am feeling so much better. But the fear. The fear that my life will never change. That this is the life I have now and that I am stuck here, with this, this life of stress, this life of not being able to pay my bills, no work, disappointment in myself and of others in me. I can't live with this any more and need help moving on.

Goddess please give me the strength to keep moving forward with positive energies and a positive outlook as I know that positivity breeds positivity where negativity does the same. Keep my pure, positive, and motivated to do what I need to do. Please take away and banish negative energies and thoughts from me never to return... I ask this now so it shall be done. So Mote It Be! 

Day 32 of 100 days of gratitude

Ok, so I got up on this beautiful Monday morning and checked to see what my unemployment was like I do every Monday morning and I got my full amount this week. I so don't get it but I am not complaining. Hmm. Strange. It's going to be a great day!






Today I am grateful that I can have patient with stupid people at the court house to refuse to tell me all on one visit what pages are missing while I am trying to file for divorce. Really? You need the order page to go with the fee waiver request. Ok, this is the third time I have had to come back. Can you look through the 10 pages there and let me know if there is anything else I am missing? No, I cannot give you legal advise. And this was from the judge!

Day 32 of 100 days of gratitude

Today I was grateful the patience to not go completely insane waiting to hear about the job. I was grateful on many levels that Jaime came by including that fact that it was just great to see him. Never realize how much you miss someone until they are not around for 10 months. I am also grateful that we are having such and wonderfully extended summer of warm weather without all of the rain. I know and realize that it's horrible with all of the fires that have been burning but I can say with fact that the sun has been a huge contributor to keeping me from getting depressed over the current situation... that by the way is about to get so so so much better! yay! 

A day in the life

What an interesting day. I still did not find the earth/dirt I need to move forward with my Gwers. Gotta get that done. My mom remembered that our Tree, Contorted Filbert, was dug from the ground and put into the pot he is in at our last house so we are going to lift him out and take soil from the pot, replacing it with potting soil which he could probably use anyway. this will give me natural earth from the ground that is not completely full of rocks. Yay!!! So I promise to get that done tomorrow.

Jaime came by today. He signed the papers with no problems and now that part is done. I just need to go file the papers. Yay! It was strange actually having him sign them. Like a final thing even though we have been separated for 9 years, seemed strange. I do not trust him, could not be with him again, but he still holds a large part of my heart. What can I say. It was good to see him today and I hope all stays well with him and that we keep in touch.

Received an email from Darren today also. He has decided that he needs more time. I completely understand. 24 years of marriage. Teen aged son that he is trying hard to do right by. It's all so confusing and I can't even imagine what he is going through. I have never been there. I emailed him back, told him that I am here for him and whatever he needs. Lets just get together, do dinner and a movie... be friends and take a step, several steps back... Hoping he agrees. I truly do love him... Not anything I can do about that. But not going to stop living for him either. To much time has been wasted in my life being afraid or waiting and I cannot do that. Right now he is the person I want to be with and I have no plans in any other. That is where I am at right now.

So everyone says that I got the job I interviewed for on Friday. Resource room at Bethel Middle School. I so hope this is true. I so need this job and without it i do not know where I am suppose to go next. Waiting to hear is killing me, hoping to hear something tomorrow even though they said they hoped to make offers by Tuesday. I have another interview, in Tacoma, elementary Resource room... That would be awesome too... But I truly would like this one better I think. We will see... Oh, I even got the guts up to ask my pendulum if I got the job and it has told me  yes ever night for the last two nights... and a couple times yesterday. I ask if I got the job and it says yes. I ask if I will start working for Bethel middle School this week and it says yes. And I ask if I will receive my first paycheck in September for my new job and it also says Yes. We are hoping that with the signing of the contract, I will be able to rent a place quickly so that we can get moved right away. With the check and the loan that I am hoping to be able to get on the car, $2000 - $2500 more, we should be able to hire movers and get moved easily and then work to pay that original and this additional money off within a few months paying this car off quickly. At the point, we will work to open that store and start searching for the property, the site for our first Hobbit house which I still hope to build next summer resolving any rent problems in the future. We will then be in our own home. Yay!!!


Anyway, what a day. Tomorrow is on it's way and looking at the clock it's already here. I do not, cannot, however, think of it as tomorrow until I sleep so off I go. Time to sleep and get ready for a new day and a new week... which should be an amazingly busy and wonderful week if all goes as it is suppose to go over the next few days... Yay! Night all and blessed be. 

Saturday, September 15, 2012

My studies in Druidry

As promised, here I am with Chapter 5 of Druid Magic... In case, over the span of time that I have been neglecting my blog, you have forgotten what book I have been discussing, it's Druid Magic: The Practice of Celtic Wisdom by Maya Magee Sutton and Nicolas R. Mann.

Anyway, on to chapter 6, Druid Magus... what's a Druid Magus? It means a Druid Wise person. That is my goal. Isn't that the goal of all of us following any kind of Druid path? To me being druid means being wise. Learning the meaning of our world, learning to read what is around and you being able to make decisions on what you see and know. I dunno. Maybe that is just me. Anyway, moving on.

This chapter goes into the Discussion of the Goddess Bridgid ~ or Brigid, depending on who you ask.


In one myth, it is known that she is the daughter of Dagda and is one of the only deities known across the lands. You can find mention of Bridgid in writing of the Greek, Irish, Scottish, welsh, and more. In another tale, It is know that she is the daugher or Druid Noble, Dubhthach, and a slave mother, Broicseth. Someone born in this type of extreme delineates a special noble birth ~ an unusual being. In this story, before she could speak, she had prophesied that she herself would be the Goddess of Sovereignty over the land.



The Three Cauldron's 
In all areas of belief, it comes down to Bridgid being the Goddess of Patron of Healing, Smith-craft, and Poetic Inspiration. As Druids, we can think of these gifts as being from the Earth, the Sea, and the Sky.

  • Earth: comes the gift of smith-craft or the blacksmith's knowledge of metallurgy. Metals come from the earth, the land and knowledge of this gives us power over the element of earth... the wisdom to work with it to the best of our own knowledge and skill. To be more specific, in smith-craft or blacksmithing, we learn that we can change what we see into what we need. A smith turns a hard black piece of steal into a sword, or a hammer to be used in trade or defense  Today we can take this skill to mean that we can change our ideas, our dreams, into what reality. We can manifest our dreams, our necessities into reality. With knowledge, patience and magic, we can make what we need and desire. 
  • Sea: There are hundreds of healing wells across the UK, things from the old, coming from ancient Celtic tradition. All over the countries you can find these wells that have been dedicated to Bridgid... even after the Christians came and Bridgid became the Prophet Brigit, the wells are still held sacred in her name. To this day they are still held in high regard and are the target of thousands of pilgrimages a year for prayer, healing, and dedication. 
  • Sky: cosmic inspiration. Need I say more? Well, ok then. Lol. She is the Goddess of inspired wisdom. She brings fourth or inspiration in all things. Brings us wisdom, poetic inspiration. The Druid word Awen is inspiration, wisdom... and this is one of Bridgid's gifts to us. 
In Druid wisdom, along with many other paths, it is knows that all things start as if from a cauldron. The cauldron in all thing is the symbol of the beginning, the womb from where we all come... the place of all beginnings. it is so here also.... another reason, it has been decided in this particular book at least and it makes sense to me, that the three aspects of Bridgid relates to us as humans... it speaks to the whole human, well rounded and healthy as we all wish to be. This is what I took from this chapter. The three gifts of Bridgid are healing, smithcraft, and poetic Inspiration. These relate to the three aspects of being human. Healing relating to the body, smithcraft to livelihood, work, caring for our minds (smart enough to take care of ourselves), and poetic inspiration as wisdom, our spirit. The book gives this comparison to other known deities...



After this part of the chapter, the book posed what I found to be interesting questions. It asked if I am complete according to the three aspects of Bridgid and I would have to say no. I work at healing but as I well know, I am much better at healing and taking care of others then I am myself, especially when times are so difficult as they are right now. Especially emotionally. I am a basket case much of the time. I am so bad at this that I know I should be meditating to help keep myself balanced and I have some amazing meditations, especially loving the ones by Phillip Carr-Gomm, but I do not do them so much of the time, putting them away and sleeping more then anything so I don't have to think about it. I am so much better when I do, but for some reason it's such a hassle until I actually get into it. Livelihood is something that comes and goes. I even went to school during my children's teen years to try to make a better life for us and myself but I have now been without any work for two years. Having to rely on others kills me and I am hoping that in light of current events (a really awesome job interview Friday) that this is about to change for the better again. Inspiration, Wisdom, Learning and knowledge would most definitely be my strength. I am great at learning, giving advise people swear by, and readings and such are wonderful as long as I don't do them for myself. See again, I am better at taking care of everything else then I am myself. I have the knowledge and the wisdom but seem to find it difficult to apply it to myself.



The Cauldron of Posey 
I am not going to go into this to much. It's much the same as above. Bridgid is known as the Goddess or Patron of the Hearth Fire, or Goddess of the Hearth and home... this explains a bit as to why. The cauldron of Posey are the three cauldron's as above described in an old Irish text the Cauldron's' of Posey. They are as follows.


The Wise Judge

Have you heard of the Brehon Law? I found this so interesting though I will just touch upon it here. The Brehon law is restorative justice rather then punishing justice. Compensaiton is given rather then punishment and all is made known. for example of someone does you wrong by stealing from you, they will have to work off what they stole and it will be made known that you must do so. In the past, under the Brehon law, if you killed someone, like your neighbors son, you had to pick up and take over this duties and more for the family to make sure that all is done and this is your payback for what you did. And, the people all know. If you do commit a crime but do not pay restitution, you are disgraced among everyone and often end up having to leave as no one wants to have anything to do with, and that is if you are not run out of town. This wisdom bids problem solving skills rather then punish and release so that people commit the same crimes again and again as they do now... and there is no compensation paid to the victims. They just suffer the loss of whatever it was and do without.. or grieve.



With this knowledge, the books ask what are the values that you live by. this is my thoughts

  • Kindness to all
  • acceptance of all who do not harm
  • help those in need
  • stay quiet and respectful until overly disrespected. 
  • protect those who cannot protect themselves. 
  • Be truthful without hurting others. 
  • Take care of myself. 
What are the 3 most important to you? 
  • Kindness to all
  • help those in need
  • acceptance to all who do not harm. 
Which are currently socially and politically correct? 

  • I feel they all of my choice are
Which would you die for? 
  • I do not know. 
Which individuals/groups strain your ability to be fair? 
  • Politicians
  • People who are overly disrespectful, mean, and abusive
To whom to do you have flashes of being cruel to? 
  • no one, and it drives my friends and family crazy as I have been abused so often but cannot even treat my abusers badly. 
When you make a snap decision, do you regret? 
  • Depends on the decision. 
Do you have an addiction that clouds your decisions? 
  • yes, but not a typical addiction, not what you might think. 
Do you have a double standard towards anyone?
  • No


Part of being  a Druid Magus is being a keeper of your ancestors, studying your ancestry. I'm not going to go into this as it's pretty self explanatory. 


Becoming a Druid PhD (Practicing Holistic Druid) Hee hee...

A series of questions follows that ask you to think deeply about yourself, to help you find your path, the meaning of your life, and the direction that you are meant to take. I have answered the questions but am still pondering the answers.... changes may come here so if you are interested, it might be something to check back on as I think about these questions and answers more.

What special gifts do you have?

  • I see the good in everything and everyone
  • Healing
  • Telling the future, knowing what is to come.  

What have you learned to do exceptionally well?

  • Learn/find information
  • healing spells
  • pendulum readings.  
What wisdom can you share with the world? 
  • This is one I need to think about. With the studying I have been doing, right now I can say that I can share what I know about healing nature and it healing us. Taking care of our world as it takes care of us. Knowing that everything, all nature is alive and feels, hears, and communicates. And it's here to help us as we are here to help it. 
  • I will continue to add to this ongoing if I remember too... :-) 
What do you want...
  • Spiritually? 
    • peace
    • guidance
    • to help others on their paths
  • emotionally? 
    • some to love and to love me
    • a calmness and control over my own life and emotions
  • material
    • a home
    • to be able to have the things i need without stress and constant struggle
  • professional
    • to teach children
    • my store
  • cognitive
    • health
  • social
    • the ability to have and hang out with friends and family without the anxiety that I get now. 
  • financial
    • enough money to do what i need to do and support myself and my family. 
  • physical
    • loose weight
    • be healthy
  • what is not finished and with whom? 
    • I need to get divorced from the man i have been separated from for 9 years. Finalize and closure in that situation. 
    • anger towards the struggle of my life. 
Learning list: 
Read: books about magic, spirituality, Druidry
Learn: to control my own life, my emotions, career, destiny. 
Master: myself and to understand why people do what they do. 

What do you want to produce or put into the world? what do you want to leave in your name? 
  • Peace, love, harmony
  • teach self control
  • empathy and passion
  • belief in one's self as the divine. We are all divine. 
Who can help you with the last four areas above? 
I do not know. 

Bet you thought that was it, didn't you. Hee hee.. nope, not done yet. More questions, lol...

What are your abilities?

  • finding things
  • learning
  • understanding
  • working with troubled children
  • gaining trust of people
  • bringing people together
What resources do you have?
  • Knowledge
  • vendors
  • people
What resources do you need? 
  • money
  • venue
What do you enjoy doing so much that you loose time doing it? 
  • readings
  • talking with people about my passion, my Druidry and my spirituality, my store. 
  • working with children
What is your learning style? 
  • hands on
  • talking about it (hence the probably really boring blog, hee hee)
How do you go about a goal? 

  • head on
  • research
  • planning
  • talk
  • write
  • more planning (yes, i am a big fat planner, hee hee) 
Personal Mission Statement
I am a teacher and a healer. I find the items and people needed to help people on their paths. I am a collector and teacher of information. I am a Druid. 

Festival of Tara Code
"Instead of New Year's Resolutions, write your ethical code and live by it. Every three years, as was done at the Festival of Tara, revise your code to come more in line with your Druidic practice of justice, arbitration, and decision making."

My Tara Code: I will have faith that my future will take care of me.  


Day 31 of 100 days of gratitude

Ok, so today I am grateful for the doctors who have made my sister better. She should be leaving the home within the next few days healed and ready to come back to her life. Other than going stir crazy being stuck in the nursing home she was in good spirits today. She is just very ready to come home.

I am also grateful for the guidance I have finally received in where I am suppose to go from here. i have been told by several sources, including getting up the guts to ask my pendulum this morning, if I got he job I interviewed for on Friday and all say yes. So, with that in mind, we will be moving north in November at the latest. Yay!!! And, the decision has been made that we will be moving north come November regardless. We will just be renting a 2br/2ba apartment instead of a house... We have to get out of here as it continues to drag us down. It's time that the change is made and it needs to happen now.

My studies in Druidry

The next chapter was totally intriguing and wonderfully fascinating. I am not going to go into it to much yet as it's 12:10 in the morning and I'm tired. It does, however, talk about Bridgid and becoming a Druid Magus or a Druid Wise One. Sounds like where I would like to be at some point so I was totally into this chapter. I will however leave you with this tonight. Think about what you know about Bridgid and all that she is and all that she does. What does she do for you? We'll talk more about that in this post when I come back to it tomorrow. And I do promise I will come back to this post tomorrow.... Bright blessings for a fabulous Friday night... Love and peace to you...

My studies in Druidry

Despite the fact that I have not been posting like I should, I have continued my studies both from OBOD and in reading the Book of Druid Magic. I will continue to write about the book here but am not suppose to write about the OBOD training here. Kinda got told I'm not suppose to though I thought I was only talking about my own feelings, not the content. It's all good though.. here goes.

The last time I added to my studies Journey, I was still in the chapter talking about tools and such. I have moved well beyond that at this point and will try to catch you up here. Not sure if I will get it all done tonight, but promise to work on it over the next few days.

The last chapter I wrote about was the tools chapter, chapter four so I will go ahead and move on from there.


The next section was about divination. I have been doing various forms of divination for a little over a year now and was thorough interested in this chapter. It was a quick over view with the promise of more later in the book. Yay! It talked about several things, prophecy or second sight, augury, and Ogham.

Second sight are those who just see what is happening or what is to come. Seeing what we cannot see. Even now, as in all time, even our leaders have seers whom the confer with. It has even been known that our presidents consult phychics and seers, though it is usually done through that wives. Heaven forbid the president would believe in something so mystical, lol...

Augury is the study of habits. What really caught my attention was the study of birds. It has been known through history that fortunes have been told by the behaviors of birds and other animals. How fascinating? I am looking forward to reading more about this, even if I have to look beyond this book for the information. Lets, however, get through this one first. The Goddess Bridgid was connected with Augury.

The one that truly interests me at this point is the Ogham. Using the Ogham Fews, trees, carved into stones or staves as I have made to tell fortunes, futures, or outcomes. I am thoroughly interesting in this and will post more on this soon. The students of the actually symbols , their meanings, and how to read them comes towards the end of the book... i will be patient and wait. What am I saying, I'm already playing with them. I will, however, wait and write more about them when I have a better understanding of what I am doing with them.
these are my hand made holly wood staves. Cool, right? 

Friday, September 14, 2012

Day 30 of 100 days of gratitude

Today I am grateful that I was able to get to yet another interview up north. I was grateful to have the gas and the courage to get there.

I am also very grateful that it is friday night. yay! 

Monday, September 10, 2012

Day 29 of 100 days of gratitude

Ok, so I got a call for an interview on friday for middle school resource room.. yay! and today got another for an elementary resource room... yipee!!! I'm going to have a contract this year so i can get things back online... yay!!! 

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Day 28 of 100 days of gratitude

So I just checked and while they took almost half for over payments I do not owe, I did get an unemployment payment for last week. Yay! it's almost over. Now I just need to figure out how to pay the bills on half of what I am suppose to get. I am grateful that September, in this regard, is finally here.

I am grateful to have a guy like Darren that gives my something to look forward too... Seeing him again on the 23rd, if not sooner. 

Saturday, September 8, 2012

A cry for help!

People keep telling me things are going to get better. Everything happens for a reason. Watch, your time is coming and all will be better then it's ever been. Yes, I am druid. Yes I do beleive that the Goddess takes care of us all and we are not given things that we cannot handle but really! I have to vent a little. I think that if we were not suppose to vent, we would not have been given the gift or yelling - or in this case of being able to TYPE IN ALL CAPS!!!  lol...

In the last two years, I have been threatened by a hospital school who mistreats students and takes students who will be harmed rather then helped by their services. I have not been able to find a job. I had to move away from the area that I love to live in the hole called Lewis County because that is where we could afford rent - of course until we moved there and unemployment decided that I could live on no income at all. We ended up virtually homeless, now live in low income housing next to neighbors who break into apartments and steal computers, and live in a place where I cannot find a job at all and the ones available you can't live on let alone earn enough to leave. I need a dentist so bad that I am in pain all of the time. My sister ends up with a strange infection in her spine and has to spend two months between a hospital and nursing home leaving her teenaged boys home alone. There is no place to swim. My dog is aging so fast because there is no place for her to run and get the exercise she needs. Did I mention I am in constant pain? I have applied for minimum 250 jobs in the last year, been told no thank you by about 8 of them and just never hear form the rest at all. Oh, i have actually had 5 interviews, all this summer, and to no avail, still no job. 

School has started and we are starting another year of not making it. Struggling to pay the bills and keep our head above water. My mom is having difficulty remembering things. She gets so frustrated when I ask her about something I know I told her but she doesn't remember. She is becoming all but a hermit... sitting on her computer all day because being in the apartment, there is nothing for her to do all day long. 

Goddess, I ask you now, please send us help. Send me a job, send us a way out of this place. Send us a way out of the place were we currently live, send me a way out of this place in my heart where I am drowning. I ask this now.. Please help as I am sinking, my head is going under, and I do not know how to save myself... Please help me. 

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Day 27 of 100 days of gratitude

Today I am grateful for Saturdays. There is not business to be taken care of today. I get to see Darren, tomorrow I have training for my new part time job...

The spell work I did Thursday night has rid me of whatever was making me sick.. yay! I am feeling so much better today!!! 

Monday, September 3, 2012

Day 26 of 100 days of gratitude:

Today, on this crazy day of multiple "no's",  sorry we cannot help, and "there is nothing we can do's", I am thankful for my facebook healing friends... Love you guys.


~Celtic Invocation of Peace~
Deep peace, pure white of the moon to you
Deep peace, pure green of the grass to you
Deep peace, pure brown of the earth to you
Deep peace, pure grey of the dew to you
Deep peace, pure blue o the ski to you
Deep peace of the running wave to you
Deep peace of the flower air to you
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you

by Fiona Macleod





Sunday, September 2, 2012

Day 25 of 100 days of gratitude:

Today I am grateful for what I have learned to take power over myself and my own feelings. While I am just learning to control this, it is sometimes so hard. Today I was able to have a good day despite all that has happened, the stress of these days, and the fact that I did not feel well. I give thanks for my studies and to the goddess for helping me through all that is happening to me at this time.


I give thanks for the love of those around me. My mom, my sister, my children, Darren, and all of friends and family on facebook. I could not make it through this life without you all.

I am grateful for the sunshine yet again today as it feels my goodness, my happiness, and my health. Without you, and I know that in the great northwest, it will soon disappear into our rainy season, i would wither...

I am grateful for the energies of earth, the protection of earth, and all that it does for me and all of us, including those that have no idea.


And last but not least.. I am grateful for my totem.. my ravens/crows in nature and those inside me. Thank you for the strength to keep moving forward. 



Saturday, September 1, 2012

Day 24 of 100 days of gratitude:

So somehow I completely forgot to do this yesterday. Hmmm. Oh well. So today I am grateful that I was able to see my wonderful kinda boyfriend this morning. We went out to see the Dam out in Mossy Rock. Such beautiful trees. It was awesome. Got to talk and spend time with him which was also amazing. We talked and hung out and it was so awesome.

I am also grateful that the summer season is over and that school starts this week. I should be back to work within the next couple of weeks which would be amazing also. Yay!