Ok... Trying to prepare mentally to do my yearly wheel of the year spread for this next year... Yes, this takes days for me to prepare as I need to get outside of myself, out of my own head, so that I don't taint or accidentally taint or guide the reading. I am sure others who read for themselves know what I'm talking about. I do this each year using my Celtic Tree Oracle (my favorite deck of cards).... What will next year bring? Will it be heading in the direction I hope it will or will I have to do a lot of changing to make things go the way I want. I am hoping that I have done what I need to this year to push next year on a reasonably straight path towards my goals. I could use a year of a reasonably straight path, lol...

Funny how even though we know what's good for us, we don't do it

This fall has been a long one. No, life is good. I am working. I can afford to live. Thing are going well other then the job I mentioned, you know, where I am working. I am a special education teacher who works specifically with students with emotional behavioral disorders. I have been doing this now for a few years and have come to the conclusion that many of these kids really should be accessing a different kind of education, public school is not really the best place for them. Don't get me wrong, the ones I am talking about are the extreme cases who make it so that no one in the class can learn. That, however, is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about how, in the scheme of life, the every day life that we live, we do not do the things that we know are good for us- the things that we know from experience hold us together and help us stay balance and in control. 

Some of the things I have been neglecting though I know they help keep me balanced are meditation, casting, furthering my OBOD studies as I am now working on the Ovate Grade. These are all things that I enjoy but have been reluctant, the best word I can think of, to do for no particular reason other then just letting other things get in the way. 

Over this winter break, which by the way is not way long enough, I am working to get back into a healthy routine including the above mentioned activities along with regular exercise to get myself back in shape and allow me to deal with the stresses of work in a more healthy and efficient manner. With this I am hoping to go back to work in January with new vigor, new outlook, and a healthier outlook and attitude in what I need to do vs. what I love to do. 

Helping

As we move through our lives we meet many people. So many people come from so many places, so many experiences, so many different lives. There are no two lives that are the same and there are no two people who are the same. 

I have seen so much abuse, so much sadness, so much pain through the things I do, the jobs I have had, the people I have worked  so hard to help and sometimes it feels like it gets to be to much. Each night I try to let it go as I go to bed, I try to let it all go, everything I have seen in a day. Sometimes I am successful, sometimes I am not. 

Today was an emotional day, not sure if it was me, something else, or just a combination of both but I am hoping that I will be able to get it all go so I can meet these people, these children again tomorrow in an effort to help them and make them realize that I am only there to help them. 

hmmmm. Really need to stop thinking so much.

So there is a guy. I kinda like him... Fighting running. Wish I didn't have to fight running just because I kinda like someone. 

Stuck

It seems that i am stuck. Here I am again looking for a job. Interviews that I don't hear back from. Jobs that I apply for and nothing yet. Hmmm. Really would like to find something continuing - a little tired of this stress every year.

Trying to get started on my Ovate courses also and can't seem to get into the right frame of mind. I am all a go until it's time at night to do my initiation and I am always no longer in the right frame of mind or to tired. There is the trouble with the Tutor thing also. I haven't heard from anyone in three months.

I will performing my third public ritual on Saturday, day after tomorrow, and I haven't even written it yet. Something else I need to do tomorrow.

I need a break, a vacation, so badly. Summer school starts Monday - no break for me until the end of July. This is a bit of a negative sounding post for someone who has been quite positive about things for months. Maybe I just need to get things out. Will probably delete it anyway.

Time for bed. Night all! Have a great Friday tomorrow!

Do you ever just feel the need to run away?

Spring

Here we are, moving slowing but surly into the spring time of the year. Imbolc and Ostara have passed and we are moving towards Beltain and the fertility festival of old and new. What do I hope to be fertile in this year? Well, my new yard now has what will be beautiful gardens, flowers, vegetables, and herbs. I hope my soil is fertile and will products beautiful flowers and a bountiful harvest. I am now about half way through my five year plan. What is my five year plan? Well, as I am now teaching, I am working to gain what I need to open store and start seeing adolescences who need psychological help. I will be graduating with my Master's Degree in Psychology in May and hope to work out some kind of internship at Western State working as part of the Child Study and Treatment center. This will last probably the span of at least the next three or four years as I can only work there during the summers. Also, applying and hoping to move into special education with Clover Park School District where I am currently working. More money and more my cup of tea, though to still do not want to work with EBD children in a public school setting. Would love to teach at Fircrest, however, the school on the Western State Hospital campus. So I am hoping that prosperity and directions is abundant allowing me to continue with my five year plan. Save money, build my credit, buy my house within the next year, and open my store. In that order.

It's been a long extremely busy winter, just finished spring break, 45 days of school left and we are moving into the final part of the teaching year. Grateful this job is almost done and ready to move on to the next as long as I keep working.

Wishing everyone a  blessed and fertile spring followed by a long warm, prosperous summer in any way that you need.

The Dragon's Daughters

Aubrey Honeycutt, the auther of this, the first of the Dragon's Grace series, is a wonderful woman and a good friend. I wanted to let everyone know that her first book has now been published and will be the topic of my next review. If you would like to check it out first, please do so. You can get the book at SmashWords along with reading a bit more about Aubrey... Check it out... Leave comments here. I know it's going to be amazing!!!! 

Get it here ---> The Dragon's Daughters by Aubrey Honeycutt

The Dragon's Daughters

By Aubrey Honeycutt

Abby struggles with foster care, mean girls and a distant foster mother, but her toughest struggle is with the dragon in her head. He is real, she knows it, and when her connection changes from a dragon to a half dragon child, her desire to help is ignited. When the half dragon child's life is threatened, Abby must face her past and find a way to save The Dragon's Daughters.

Though losses have followed her throughout her life, the most difficult trials sixteen year old Abby has ever endured are the otherworldly visions of death and massacre she sees every full moon. She understands she is somehow Bonded to a dragon, but has no idea how to escape that Bond. Until one full moon, instead of being plunged into a world of anguished bodies, clashing swords and the smell of blood, Abby witnesses the murder of a pregnant woman by the scaled monster she is Bonded to: the ancient dragon Martheus. Abby then discovers she is somehow connected to Martheus’s half human infant daughter, Dorianna. As the years pass and Dorianna becomes more rebellious, Abby fears for her safety. When Dorianna openly rebels and takes a woman as her affiance, Martheus plots her replacement, impregnation, and murder. Can Abby find the strength to face her own inner demons, aside from the scaled ones, and help Dorianna escape the same fate her mother faced? Can she even find a way into Dorianna's realm before it's too late?