Ok... Trying to prepare mentally to do my yearly wheel of the year spread for this next year... Yes, this takes days for me to prepare as I need to get outside of myself, out of my own head, so that I don't taint or accidentally taint or guide the reading. I am sure others who read for themselves know what I'm talking about. I do this each year using my Celtic Tree Oracle (my favorite deck of cards).... What will next year bring? Will it be heading in the direction I hope it will or will I have to do a lot of changing to make things go the way I want. I am hoping that I have done what I need to this year to push next year on a reasonably straight path towards my goals. I could use a year of a reasonably straight path, lol...

Funny how even though we know what's good for us, we don't do it

This fall has been a long one. No, life is good. I am working. I can afford to live. Thing are going well other then the job I mentioned, you know, where I am working. I am a special education teacher who works specifically with students with emotional behavioral disorders. I have been doing this now for a few years and have come to the conclusion that many of these kids really should be accessing a different kind of education, public school is not really the best place for them. Don't get me wrong, the ones I am talking about are the extreme cases who make it so that no one in the class can learn. That, however, is not what I am talking about here. I am talking about how, in the scheme of life, the every day life that we live, we do not do the things that we know are good for us- the things that we know from experience hold us together and help us stay balance and in control. 

Some of the things I have been neglecting though I know they help keep me balanced are meditation, casting, furthering my OBOD studies as I am now working on the Ovate Grade. These are all things that I enjoy but have been reluctant, the best word I can think of, to do for no particular reason other then just letting other things get in the way. 

Over this winter break, which by the way is not way long enough, I am working to get back into a healthy routine including the above mentioned activities along with regular exercise to get myself back in shape and allow me to deal with the stresses of work in a more healthy and efficient manner. With this I am hoping to go back to work in January with new vigor, new outlook, and a healthier outlook and attitude in what I need to do vs. what I love to do. 

Helping

As we move through our lives we meet many people. So many people come from so many places, so many experiences, so many different lives. There are no two lives that are the same and there are no two people who are the same. 

I have seen so much abuse, so much sadness, so much pain through the things I do, the jobs I have had, the people I have worked  so hard to help and sometimes it feels like it gets to be to much. Each night I try to let it go as I go to bed, I try to let it all go, everything I have seen in a day. Sometimes I am successful, sometimes I am not. 

Today was an emotional day, not sure if it was me, something else, or just a combination of both but I am hoping that I will be able to get it all go so I can meet these people, these children again tomorrow in an effort to help them and make them realize that I am only there to help them.